Monday, April 13, 2015

Real Housewives of Atlanta: Claudia Jordan Done Lost It

It pains -- and I mean -- PAINS me to have to take up for Nene Leakes's buffoonish ass and her delusions of grandeur under any circumstance, but after yesterday's episode of "Real Housewives of Atlanta", Claudia Jordan really showed her ass and demonstrated, Jordan is not just her last  name; it's a river that her thirsty ass needs to drink from, and then wash the Nene's butt off her face.

I mean seriously, girl... how out of the box wrong do you have to be when Nene Leakes looks like the bigger person (figuratively, in this instance) and Kenya fucking Moore has to pull you back because you're chasing someone who barely acknowledges your existence? Getting in her face, trying to get loud and aggressive, and at an event to give positive guidance and mentoring to black young men who don't have father figures in their life. I was watching that episode thrown off by how one could be that desperate for the camera and to keep their peach... and I say this having watched Kenya for over the past few seasons.

Andy Cohen, I don't know what the hell you were thinking giving this chick a peach -- and taking Porsha's away since she is delivering this season more than a couple of peach holders -- but this is a predicament that you need to rectify next season. Nene and Cynthia's falling out was entertaining for a minute, but that horse has been obliterated and is now the glue holding all these weaves and wigs in place. We don't need a redux with a lesser known housewife -- ironically, there are more unmarried women on this show than there are married -- try to stir some shit up. We get it, Claudia... you had one good reading session with Nene and now you're feeling yourself. But, girl... calm your ass down.

On a sidenote, I don't know where Peter gets off thinking he can speak at any event that is highlighting the success of businessmen. As it is, he should be applying for a business license for his mouth since it's the only thing he can manage to keep open longer than a month. Cynthia... girl. You dumb as hell. I suggest whatever you're doing to give you that big ole booty, you keep doing it, because the way Peter is spending your money on his failed ventures, you and your family are going to be living in it. I wonder if Leon watches their scenes at home and laughs... then again, he can't really laugh to  hard, agreeing to be in a gone-with-the-credibility fabulous production. 

Kenya and Cynthia... I don't get that one. Kenya was clearly being messy as all hell giving Miss Runway that role, especially with that Jamaican accent... I felt like I was watching an island rendition of The Color Purple. And what is this show that Kenya is creating with her 70 dollar Panasonic  production company? I have a feeling this is for RHOA only and this "film"likely will not see a release date. But, as I was saying, Kenya was definitely throwing Cynthia under the bus allowing her to make a complete fool of yourself. And that's how you can tell the difference between a friend and a bitch. A friend will tell you that you have a stain on the back of your dress. A bitch will smile in your face, and then wait 'til you turn around and take a picture of it and put it on Twitter... #ItMightBeDooDoo #ChappelleShow 

Claudia, move on girl. You thirstayyyy!!!

Okay, I'm done. 

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