Stupid Arguments: The No True Scotsman Fallacy

Pat Robertson: Hate monger, bigot, soulless diamond fiend, and world class idiot

You see the man in the above photo? The caption should give you a brief (although damning) idea of who this man is, but what it doesn't say is the one factor on which this man bases his entire worldview: He's a Christian. Oh, yes, if you're familiar with this lively senior citizen, you know him from his famous 700 Club show that airs on TBN, or CBN, or some Christian show that always complains about Christian persecution, but never seems to get the irony that there are literally hundreds of channels devoted entirely to the damn religion.

Now, many in the Christian faith have tried to distance themselves from Pat Robertson's kooky brand of worship, his hateful rhetoric, and his general idiocy for anything pertaining to humanity; but it's not just him you hear from. From Robertson, to another famous Robertson of the "Duck" variety, you'll find that modern day Christians are trying their best to move away from the fire and brimstone bunch with their threats of hell fire and condemnation for women's reproductive rights, gay rights, and anything not Christian... or white, for that matter.

But can they? Can they really attempt to say "Oh, they don't represent true Christians" or "That is not what true Christians believe"? Sure, they can attempt it, but it's moronic to do so... why? I'll tell you why:

Because it's a fallacy, that's why. There is no such thing as true Christianity in the sense they mean; there is no such thing as true anything, for that matter, because these definitions of "true" always seem to coincide with what they regard as true. Pat Robertson, Westboro Baptist Church, Phil Robertson, and the GOP and their batshit evangelical BS? Yup... ALL Christians!! If you say you're a Christian, as far as I'm concerned, you're a Christian; I have no way of distinguishing the difference between one Christian and another if they both use the bible to justify their stances.

But this isn't just limited to Christians trying to explain away the bad behavior of their counterparts. Hey, Muslims? Yeah... you may try to say your religion is one of peace, but let's get a few things straight:  It is not a religion of peace just because there are peaceful Muslims and Islamic fundamentalists who find beheadings and suicide bombings as their call to the Islamic faith? Yeah... they're Muslims, too. They use the Koran to justify their heinous behaviors and attempting to deny the barbaric practices in your holy doctrine only serves to demonstrate that you are better than your ancient nonsense; that and you're trying to hide the heinous nature of your prophet. But that's besides the point.

Jews, Christians, Muslims, and the like: There is a fundamental problem at hand here. Religions that are so damn divided among themselves, and yet elect unofficial spokespersons from each group to spread the true message of [insert god here]. And when challenged by  individuals like me who relay conflicting messages from other members of your same group, you tell me that their message is incorrect or that they're reading the holy scripture wrong. Dafuq?

How am I to know who is right and who is wrong if one group proclaims that one group is wrong while another group proclaims that this group is wrong? And that group, and this group, and those groups... and the Mormons (*ahem). Damn... who's right? I mean you can't all be right... but you can all be wrong. And you're all basing your actions off of the same damn belief systems. So, please spare me the "They're not true [insert religion here]." If you put every person of the same denomination and religion in the same room and asked them to point out who was the real follower of that faith, guess what? There'd be NO true followers.

How about you get a working definition of what a "true" believer of your faith is -- that you can all agree on -- and then get back to me.

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