Growing up, I didn't know what gay was. The only thing that was apparent was that there were girls all around me, and not a single feeling towards them. My southern upbringing always shone through and while I wasn't attracted to girls, I knew that a man was supposed to be charming and polite towards women, even the self-centered bitches who felt they were entitled to be treated like queens, despite their disgusting personalities. As I got older, I knew what it meant to be gay, especially after puberty. Never would I dare speak about it openly because of my homophobic community, and the fact that I had an uncle who was openly gay, and it would hurt to hear my other uncles and grandmother talk about him with a general dismissal and shame.
My oldest uncle, is fiercely anti-gay, and while he loves his brother, my gay uncle, he doesn't accept his being gay. The other uncles act somewhat indifferent to him but have often expressed their disdain for his "lifestyle" (not their words, but it's a roundabout way to say it). This presents itself to me in a multitude of facets: 1. I grew up not only in the same "heteronormal" community as they did, I grew up seeing this incredible double standard from cherry picking Christians. 2. I saw my uncles and cousins bring around woman after woman, fathering children in and out of wedlock (only one uncle had his kids while married, but with different women that he ended up cheating on). And 3. No matter what kind of low down things I saw people in my family and community doing, most of them still felt that they could throw dirt on gay people. Because after all, you can do anything under the sun as long as you're doing it while you're straight, correct?
That sure seems to be the case, right? See that picture on the left? That can sleep with whatever that wants to because apparently the Christian god doesn't spend his time condemning you if you sleep around... you're only human after all. And of course, if you repent over and over, he'll forgive and let you go out and fornicate till your dick/vagina falls off. But that unholy abomination on the right? Oh, that bird won't fly, sir!! We are terrible sinners and we need to pray for redemption and to turn from our wicked ways. There is nothing richer than hearing a woman tell me that I am going to Hell because I live in contradiction to her god while she is 6 months pregnant with her third child as a result of a one night stand. It's funny how when you bring up their transgressions, suddenly we are all sinners who fall short of God's glory. Well for such a sanctimonious bunch that can put me as a gay man on blast with your god, you sure as hell spend a lot of time falling. I don't know, get new shoes... walk a little straighter on your path and watch out for potholes. Do whatever the hell you gotta do, just leave me out of your hangups.
You can't tell me that you have never heard one of your relatives or friends be so quick to judge someone else's mistakes or even the way they dress, the way they eat, who they date, or how they live their lives. And then as soon as they are called out, here comes the Jesus quotes and "He who is without sin cast the first stone" and "Jesus said not to judge". It never fails that I see this more in my own community, the black community, the one I am the most familiar being that I am both black and was raised in an all black community. When they come from Church on Sunday or "catch the holy ghost", you can't say anything to them. To hear them talk, they are the reincarnate of Buddha-Jesus-Krishna all rolled into one ball of pious self-righteous holiness And then when that wears off by Wednesday and they're back in the streets fucking anything that walks. Suddenly it's not right to judge with my all time favorite line of resolving one's life to biblical hypocrisy being uttered: "The Lord knows my heart." Well, If I tell you the Lord knows my heart too, will you shut the hell up?
Ted Haggard, they go out and commit the very same acts that they preach against. Nothing like a closeted preacher foaming at the mouth over the acceptance of homosexuality only to be found doing drugs with a male escort or sexually violating the young men you claimed to be trying to help.
The "sin" shit gets on my nerves to no end. It is an arbitrary concept that begins and ends with religion, and honestly most of us wouldn't waste our time calling hypocrites on their crap if not for the fact that they waste their time looking down on others and pointing to a scripture to point out someone else's "misdeeds". But don't you dare turn a few pages over and show them their "misdeeds", because then you're judging them, and judgment is a one-way street, apparently.
My uncles did it, my friends did it, and even random people on the internet do it. They'll go all over the internet saying how being gay is wrong and that God will punish us, and then click on the next window and finish watching their homemade porn they just uploaded to RedTube.
But that's "sin" for ya... lying, stealing, murdering, raping, fornicating are all things that God will forgive you for as long as you confess your "sins". And he'll keep forgiving you as long as you promise you're really, really sorry (it doesn't matter if no one believes you because you decide if God does).
However, if you live a life of contributing to society, giving back to your community, donating to homeless shelters, doing the right thing when it calls for it, and have consensual sex with men in your private life, you're a sodomite that deserves eternal damnation. Of course, you'll hear the "straight people sin just like gay people and sin is sin", but even you know they are talking out of their ass. I'm not seeing any organizations set up to stop fornication, adultery, or divorce, so when you do that, then you can tell me that you treat all sins the same
Okay, I'm done.