Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Separates, Chapter 2: Midnight Run

Am I being paranoid? Geneva walked back and forth, both thinking and wondering aloud about why she felt so uneasy about her husband's intern possibly having been to their home before. At this point, the smell of burnt chicken and rice had been carried about by the cool breeze lightly blowing through the open patio door that looked out over the city's skyline. She continued pacing throughout the floor, seemingly gliding since her footsteps made no sound against the carpet and soundproof floors separating her and Roman's condominium from their upstairs and downstairs neighbors. 

"Why wouldn't he mention that 'Matt the Intern' had been here before?" she asked herself in the emptiness of the vast square feet of their home that she had found herself alone in for the first time in years. Geneva walked over to her phone, pressing the power button to illuminate the screen. She checked the time.


That meant that he had been gone for nearly 30 minutes, but of course she had to take into account the traffic on a late Friday night, especially in what was basically a college area, bustling with privileged teens and 20 somethings in ivy league schools without parental supervision, something they likely hadn't had even when they were at home.

She walked back over to the kitchen and picked up the chair that she had knocked over in anger. Once again, she found herself being lost in the thoughts of her life, pondering how two people who once were inseparable could no longer be in the same room without lashing out unnecessarily. She wondered how she became so removed from the lives of her children that not only was she unaware of their activities, but she didn't even bother to care. She could see the big doe hazel brown eyes of her own daughter staring up at her in disappointment and sadness, which tugged at her heartstrings as she poured yet another glass of wine for herself. 

Right as the last drop touched the glass, a knock could be heard on the door. Who on earth is that at this time of night? She angrily thought. But, then her mind went to a possible emergency involving her kids, and then fear swept across her mind as she now quickly walked to the door to open. "Who is it?", she inquired.

"Girl, open the door. It's cold out here."

Geneva immediately recognized the voice as her best friend Thedra, and sighed in relief as she unlocked the door to let her in. "Do you realize what time it is?", she hissed as the door opened.

"Jeez, nice to see you, too," Thedra replied, feeling the iciness of her friend.

"I'm sorry, girl," Geneva responded with contrition. "This has not been my night. In any way."

"Do you want to talk about it?", Thedra asked, pulling her hand out of her oversized tote bag to reveal a huge bottle of chardonnay.

"I've been 'talking' since Roman left", Geneva responded, pointing over to the table at her own open bottle and full glass.

"Well, then, I'll help you finish that conversation and then we can keep it going with mine. Hint. Hint. Glug. Glug."

Thedra sauntered over to Geneva's living room table, gently setting her tote bag onto the slightly moved coffee table. She removed her heels and set them next to her, letting out a loud sigh of relief as she unbuttoned the top two buttons of her maroon cashmere blouse, She was dressed as though she had either come from work or a date, but either way, she was had returned from disappointment. Geneva, still reeling from her own underwhelming night with Roman, was in no mood to entertain guests, but with Thedra being one of her closest friends, she obliged, albeit with the intent of getting her out as soon as possible.

"So what brings you here?", Geneva asked politely, but indifferently.

"Terrible," Thedra responded, appearing to answer another question that hadn't been asked. "Chloe's dad had to work late, so I had to cut my date short to go pick her up from the sitter. Sure enough, I get there and there's this 13 year old watching my child with no one else around. I mean, this man thought he could leave our child someone barely even older than her..."

Thedra's venting slowly faded into white noise that blended in harmonically with the business of the Friday night life going on downstairs on the streets. Geneva could not help but wonder how out of character it was for Roman, someone who had never even stayed up past 11:30 p.m. even on the weekends, would suddenly have be entertaining clients so late at night. Occasionally entering back into reality to nod and pretend to be listening to Thedra gripe about her ex-husband, she peered at the wall clock, unable to read the digital numbers but keenly watching as the second went on and on and on...

"I mean, what do you think? Am I overreacting?"

Geneva immediately snapped back, as if her subconscious was giving her the cue to pay attention once again. "No, of course not. Damon should have known better. That is ridiculous."

Thedra uncorked her wine and poured herself a glass and then poured another for Geneva, apparently forgetting that Geneva already had her wine on the dinner table behind them. She drank it anyway, either out of politeness or simply because it was mere inches from her body instead of feet away like her own alcohol. 

"Look at me, going on and on about my problems," Thedra laughed, "Chloe's fine, and Damon is just gonna have to start doing better. Girl, count yourself lucky you don't have a baby daddy ex to deal with. Hey, where is Roman?" 

"He's at a dinner with a client."

Thedra paused from her drinking her wine and gave Geneva one of the most intense looks of curiosity she had ever given her friend of 10 years. Geneva didn't have ponder on what her best friend was thinking because not only did her face say it all, her mouth was not far behind iterating her facial expression.

"Dinner? At this time of night?", she scoffed. "Who the hell has dinner this late at night? And with a 'client.'"

"It's not like that, Thee", Geneva assured, "It's with a male client from his law firm, and he had told me all about it."

"And did you verify this information?" Thedra continuously interrogated.

"No need. I trust my husband. Besides, I already know what you're hinting at, Thee, and Roman is not out with another woman."

"Oh, no, girl, I'm not hinting at a damn thing. I'm flat out saying it."

Geneva quickly became irritated and felt that Thedra had worn out her welcome for the night. "My, look at the time. Maybe we should cut this short, because I am feeling very tired."

"Look, Genny," Thedra began with contrition in her voice, "I'm sorry. Maybe it's projecting on my end. When you go through a nasty divorce from a cheating husband who would rather watch you go homeless and leave you penniless than admit that he was sleeping with anything that smiled at him, you tend to think every man is messing around."

"It's alright," Geneva sighed, her tone mellowing out. "I'm not going to lie like the thought hadn't crossed mind while was sitting here."

She neglected to mention that it had crossed her mind a few more times once she'd had more glasses of wine in her.

"That's all I needed to hear."

Thedra immediately jumped up, stumbled as a result of a head rush mixed with slight inebriation, and grabbed her oversized purse. Looking inside, she pulled out her tablet, and sat down next to Geneva, slightly showing her device in her face, illuminated screen and all.

"Where is he having dinner?" She asked intensely.

Becoming immediately cautious, Geneva refused to answer, perhaps understanding her friend's fiendish intentions.

"Look at it this way: He's having a late dinner with a client, or so he says," Thedra began, appearing to forget Geneva's annoyance at this conversation, "So you simply come at the tail end of said late dinner, wait for his 'client' to leave, and turn his work into a mini date for you guys."

"That alcohol must be hitting you harder in your later years", Geneva joked, balking at Thedra's suggestion. "If you think I'm seriously about to entertain any of what you're saying right now..."

"What's the harm?" Thedra exclaimed. "If he is where he says he is..."

"And I believe him," Geneva interrupted. 

"If he is where he says he is," she continued, "You can stop in and salvage the rest of what I'm sure is a stressful meeting."

"It's a casual dinner at the Red Room, hardly what I would call 'stressful.' But it's a meeting, nonetheless, and it would be petty of me to disrupt that."

"Ah, the Red Room. Nice," Thedra said as she began to tap her tablet screen with her long fingernails. "And just to clarify, I said the tail end of his meeting, meaning after it's over. I would never suggest you mess with his job."

"No, you're just suggesting I go snoop on my husband and make sure it's just a meeting and not him cheating on me", Geneva snapped. "Look, it's late, and I've had quite a bit to drink, as have you, apparently. I think it's time to call it a night."

"Suit yourself," Thedra sighed, carefully standing back up and slipping back on her heels. "Just trying to be a good friend."

"And I appreciate it, but this bootleg Nancy Drew schtick is not cute right now. I know your heart is in the right pla--"

Geneva's phone began to vibrate loudly, cutting off her sentence. Judging by the time of night, she assumed it was Roman and immediately checked it. She looked down, and saw that it was a text message, but the number from the message was fully displayed, meaning that it was not a number from her contacts. She silently read the message:

Hey, Roman. So that was intense. Make sure you bring some more of that passion. TTYL.

Who the hell is this? Geneva furiously thought, although her face was a dead giveaway as Thedra picked up on the shock. "Problem?" She asked.

For a brief moment, a calming quiet came over the loft, with only the sound of the brisk air of the Seattle night blowing in gently from the opened balcony door. Out of the corner of her eye, an object caught her attention. She turned to see that it was their family portrait, complete with the smiles of two people and their two kids, seemingly happy and bursting with familial pride. Geneva didn't want to think the worst of Roman, but his previous behavior, his coldness towards her earlier advances, his brand new intern that she had never met coming to their house so late at night and appearing to have been there before, and now a mysterious text message from a number she did not recognize, save the area code -- which was theirs.

Geneva wasn't entirely convinced that Roman was being duplicitous with malicious intent, but she also knew that it was far too late to put her suspicions to bed.

"I'm hungry", she replied to Thedra, who had already put on her jacket. "Maybe we should go grab a quick bite to eat."

Smiling with almost a devilish delight, Thedra simply responded. "I know just the place."

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Long Rant: The Symbiosis of SJWs and The Skeptic Community

This is Blaire White, a transgender conservative YouTuber (much like "liberal", what it means to be a "conservative" has been watered down into a fine homeopathic remedy of gibberish) who has pretty much made a name for herself by being what is called an anti-social justice warrior, AKA an anti-SJW or a "skeptic." She, like a gaggle of YouTubers (AndyWarski, SomeBlackGuy, RoamingMillennial, Hunter Avallone, etc.) made a name for herself by attacking the videos of social justice warriors like Milo Stewart, Riley J. Dennis, Franchesca Ramsey aka Chescaleigh, and most notedly, trigger happy blocking aficionado (and basically a meme at this point) Steve Shives.

 These two groups could not be more diametrically opposed, but they are two groups that constantly feed on each other, because they both fuel the victim narrative that their bases thrive on, because SJWs see anti-SJWs as cheerleaders for the emerging strain of right wing extremists, and the anti-SJWs see SJWs as fascistic little dictators hellbent on stifling free speech and sterilizing society until there is nothing left but a gender neutral utopia where no one is ever offended by anything ever. 

And therein lies the problem: two groups creating a toxic online environment, trashing each other, while holding their heads above the fray as being the better of the two, when in reality, none of the crap they talk about is inconsequential to the real problems going on in the world, no matter how many times Sargon of Akkad need to mention feminazis and how gender studies is ruining everything... but Trump's cool. 

Blaire White, you're not fooling anyone. You don't want to leave white guilt in 2017 because you're gonna need white guilt in 2018. You need it for clicks and for the low hanging fruit to feed to your conservative base that hangs onto your every not unique word. I would love to see white guilt be a thing of the past and for white liberals to stop being so inadvertently racist, but you don't, for the same reason people like Tariq Nasheed and Deray McKesson don't: it makes you money. 

It's the oldest trick in the book, and it's made many a provocateur rich, because when you attack things like sexism, racism, and/or homophobia, or in Blaire White's case, people's exaggerated reaction to them, you never run out of material because it's ALWAYS gonna happen. There is always going to be some racist homophobic sexist asshole in the world for SJWs to point to as being indicative of an endemic in society, thus creating more content for anti-SJWs to go "Look at these little butthurt unicorns freaking out." 

Honestly, go look at the recent videos of any of the SJWs I linked and see the stark like to dislike ratio. There are more dislikes in some cases. Why?  Well, that's because the bulk of their views come from the anti-SJW YouTubers who critiqued their videos. This video  from Riley Dennis discussing dating preferences and not wanting to date transgender people has almost 50 thousand dislikes compared to its 2 thousand likes.

Because of this

And this

And countless others who responded to Riley's video, who have more subscribers and more appeal. 

But, that's not the point, because they have every right to challenge Riley's assertions, regardless of their channel size. The main point is this: you have someone with a very small base who has very little impact on the grand scale, who is being made into more than she is by people using her for content.

Not to mention, the SJWs and antis become indistinguishable from each other because they all put out the same content, and at this point, it has to be intentional on the side of the SJWs to be as visceral as possible in order to get the attention of these bigger channels so that they get more views and YouTube money.

You could also turn it around and easily go the channel of the anti-SJWs I linked and see that they all attack the same shit, which is what made me unsubscribe to all of them in the first place; I can declutter my subscriptions and just subscribe to one person instead of 10 who parrot identical talking points. 

None of you are better than the other. You're a bunch of content creators who found a niche attacking generic bullshit but then routinely show your lack of depth when you try to punch above your weight. Let's be clear: Blaire White loves white guilt. White guilt keeps the lights on for her, and for most of these anti-SJWs because if you go to their Social Blades, you will see a borderline simultaneous decline in views and subscriber gains for these people,.

They did what they wanted to this nonsensical intersectionality and third wave feminism, much like earlier atheists did with young earth creationism. They made it into a mockery and it fell out of favor with those that contemplated its legitimacy.

However, in doing so, they shot themselves in the foot because as the online landscape changed, SJWs are no longer prominent and therefore, people have stopped caring about them being taken down a peg. They've already been taken down, so now what? What will the anti-SJWs talk about? What will the SJWs talk about? Because I've seen AndyWarski's non-SJW attacking content, and he says he used to be a comedian. It'd be nice if he actually did comedy, and not those piss poor attempts at comedy. Just saying.

It's likely I will pay little attention to either group going forward, because there are more pressing things than watching adults in online high school format argue back and forth over uninteresting drivel when I could be watching adults in television high school format argue back and forth over uninteresting drivel.

In closing, anti-SJWs you might want to start coaxing some of the SJWs to come back on YouTube or to put a fresh spin on an old conversation, because lord knows you need the attention just as much as they do. So cut the shit. You're not better. Not by a long shot.

Okay, I'm done. 

Saturday, August 26, 2017

7 Years Ago

Don't take it personal if I speak ill of your name
Hate, then sad, is the my favorite method of rhythm
You might as well accept the full brunt of the blame
In this world, Only one guy carries the burden with him
You might not know this, but I happened to love you
From the moment you made your appearance known
But my way of displaying my constant thinking of you
Was to fake my disdain for you as obvious and full blown
It was earlier and too late. I was gay, you were straight.
Even that didn't stop the roller coaster of feelings
Hearing you fornicate made me scornfully irate
Wiser me would've green lit the much needed healing

Immaturity was the winner of the lonely hearts dinner
All that displayed was meanness and spite
Never knowing this lashing out was pain that burned inner
Yeah, the actions were the wrong, but being mad felt so right
I kept hoping and hoping one day he'd escape "her"
And this would be our chance to get close
It sucks to have someone so perfect on paper
Lack the one thing that matters the most

Wanting what I could never have didn't make me want it less
It simply allowed denial to become pillows of false hope
Because a no wasn't a no and a "maybe" was a "yes"
The ambiguity allowed the desire that relief to cope
Remember that blame? Yes, I put some on you
You can play dumb, but you played your part
From your actions, my love was something you knew
That enabled you to toy with my twisted heart
All the times I quit you and then came running back
At the instant you called and said you needed me
Only to get there and realize it was all an act
For a role that should have long succeeded me

And your "perfect" was not perfect by any real stretch
Especially seeing the cruel ways that you treated "her"
I wouldn't call it a dog, because your dog didn't fetch
You made it clear had no respect or wanted to be with her
The way you talked about her made me search down below
"So maybe he's awakening to deep seated emotions"
You'd think "her" after "Her" would have let me know
The only "deep" was the levels of my sad devotion
For a long time, communication came crashing to a halt
Something you said you never quite understood
I stressed that the falling out was completely my fault
And that the head space I occupied was no good.

You said we were friends, and to never lose touch
I agreed, and then we both said goodbye
A warm gesture on your part that meant so much
Each interaction felt like this elaborate lie
Though it wasn't a lie, so much as not the full truth
The words couldn't form a real response
Because I desperately avoided the feelings of my youth
Coming rushing back to me all at once

Rejection and sorrow, and praying that tomorrow
Would be better, but it only stayed the same
Looking in the mirror only made things clearer
That this lonely, I only had myself to blame

From the moment you smiled and I heard your voice
It was over and you were the one for me
After everything revealed, I still made the choice
As if you were the only man, or none for me
How many times to be told to know your worth
Before those words are ingrained into your mind
Seeking validation and love to the ends of the earth
When it was right there in your own love to find
Not in love with you, but with a version of you
That was crafted and molded from a fantasy
It was completely unfair to put those demands on you
And then fault you for not being that man to me

Today, we are friends, and as friends we'll remain
Honesty at the forefront of my sayings this time
Unrequited love is a boil long overdue to drain
The longer the wait, the heavier the grime
No, there's no love on the roster, there's some playing to do
But I know that I'll find him one day
He'll be kind, and wonderful, and mines to woo
Most importantly, he'll be FUCKING GAY!!!!

Separates, Chapter 2: Midnight Run

Am I being paranoid? Geneva walked back and forth, both thinking and wondering aloud about why she felt so uneasy about her husband's in...